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Friendship is rewarding and enriching, only it's not always easy to brand and keep friends. If you take social anxiety disorder, yous may be wishing that you had more close friends, but exist unsure of how to go nigh achieving that goal. With a footling commitment and perseverance, you can overcome the anxiety that is holding yous back and make some great friends.

  1. 1

    See a therapist. If your social feet is holding you back and preventing you from living the kind of life you want, your commencement step in irresolute things should be to first working with a therapist. A professional person therapist tin help you empathize the reasons behind your social feet and customize a handling plan to help you overcome your symptoms.[1]

    • Some people are prescribed medications to help reduce their anxiety, but this is not the correct option for anybody.
    • Your therapist may besides recommend techniques to aid yous combat anxiety, such as deep breathing exercises, during which you will focus all of your attention on your animate, so that you stop thinking near the source of your anxiety.

  2. 2

    Overcome your insecurities. Low self-esteem is often a big hurdle for people who accept social anxiety disorder. If this is the example for you lot, you may feel that you are not worthy of friends, that others perceive you as slow, or that others judge you for your social "mistakes." In gild to overcome these thoughts, you must recognize them as a symptom of your anxiety, and not reality.[2]

    • If you lot observe yourself having these thoughts, endeavour repeating a positive thought silently to yourself. The idea tin can be something full general like, "I am crawly and deserve corking friends" or something specific like, "It'south no big bargain that they didn't laugh at my joke."

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  3. 3

    Increase your exposure slowly. Endeavour creating a list of all of the social situations that make you broken-hearted and rank them in order of least uncomfortable to most uncomfortable. Then start exposing yourself to each item on the list, one by i.

    • Taking small, incremental steps will make it much easier to eventually face your biggest fears.
    • Y'all can first as minor as you want. For case, the first detail on your list may be making center contact with the cashier at a grocery store or maxim howdy to the mailman.

  4. iv

    Set goals for yourself. Equally you brainstorm acquisition some of your fears, it's a skilful idea to go on challenging yourself by creating new goals for yourself based on what you lot want to ultimately achieve. This will not only help you go along making progress, only information technology will likewise go along y'all motivated because y'all will constantly be accomplishing something.

    • These goals tin can be more specific versions of the items on your listing of fears. For example, if you said how-do-you-do to two strangers yesterday, y'all could make it a goal to say hullo to three strangers today.
    • Be proud of yourself whenever you achieve a goal, no matter how small it is.

  5. 5

    Consider avoiding social media. Social media is a great tool for keeping in contact with people, merely it tin can as well trigger anxiety for some people. If this is the case for you, consider either deleting your accounts or reducing the amount of time you spend on social media.

    • Social media causes some people to compare themselves to others excessively, which tin can cause them to feel bad about themselves.
    • Other people feel pressure to accept a certain number of followers or to impress people with great pictures and witty comments, which tin cause a lot of anxiety.

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  1. 1

    Have things to talk nigh. People with social anxiety ofttimes feel as if they take nothing to talk to other people about. A piffling planning prior to social engagements tin can eliminate this worry, so conversation will come much easier.[3]

    • Effort new things and develop new hobbies. Even if it'southward just a coincidental interest, it will give yous something fun to talk nearly.
    • Brushing upwardly on world events is too a great way to always have something new to talk nigh.

  2. 2

    Do social interactions with strangers. If you're worried about being out of practice when it comes to making chat, try practicing with people that you never plan on seeing again. Brand modest talk with the person standing in forepart of you at the mail office or sitting next to you on the motorcoach. This kind of practice will help you feel much more comfy when it comes fourth dimension to talk to people who you want to become friends with.[4]

    • The more often yous do this, the easier information technology volition go.
    • Try to engage with different types of people and talk virtually different topics all the fourth dimension. This will give y'all lots of practice in different situations.

  3. 3

    Try role playing. Some other fashion to practice your social skills is to discover someone you lot know who is willing to assistance you lot out and do some role playing. Enact a social state of affairs that would typically make y'all anxious, and ask your partner to give you feedback on how yous handled the state of affairs.

    • Your partner can be anyone you feel comfortable with, only it's best to choose someone who has potent social skills.
    • Instruct your partner to pay attention to your body language besides every bit your conversation skills. This can help you get valuable feedback about things like eye contact or nervous twitches.

  4. 4

    Don't let rejection get you down. As you begin talking to more and more people, you volition somewhen encounter some people who do not want to talk to yous. This rejection may be difficult to accept at offset, but practice your all-time to move on and keep talking to new people.[five]

    • Remind yourself that the other person is missing out by not talking to you.
    • Continue in heed that the other person may be having a bad twenty-four hours or may be distracted. In that location's a skillful chance that the reason they don't want to talk has naught at all to do with you.

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  1. 1

    Become to neighborhood events. You may live in the same neighborhood every bit a lot of potential friends, but considering people tend to live insular lives, you may take never seen them before. To become to know your neighbors better, effort attending events in your neighborhood, like block parties and holiday parades.[half-dozen]

    • If there are no neighborhood events in your expanse, consider organizing one. It can be something very casual similar a potluck picnic at your local park.
    • If you get to ane of these events, brand a goal for yourself regarding how many people you volition introduce yourself to. Everyone is there to meet new people, and then they should be very welcoming.

  2. ii

    Socialize with coworkers. If y'all piece of work at an office, your coworkers may be great potential friends. Information technology volition have a little work to turn your working relationship into a friendship, but it will be worth information technology if you have coworkers who share your interests.[7]

    • Make small talk with coworkers when you see them in common areas, like in the lift or in the break room.
    • To get to know your coworkers better, consider going out to lunch together or going out for drinks afterwards work. One time yous take gotten to know some of them better, you may suggest weekend plans.
    • If yous're not sure who to arroyo at piece of work, you can send an e-mail to your entire part or department. Say something like, "I was thinking virtually going to the diner for lunch today. Is anyone interested in joining me?"

  3. three

    Bring together a society. Clubs and social groups are excellent resource for meeting people. Because they are usually centered around a specific action or interest, you will automatically take something to talk about! Check your local newspaper or search online to find clubs in your area.[8]

    • If you can't notice whatsoever clubs or groups that interest you lot, consider forming one of your own. You can base the group around your own interests to attract people who volition be probable to take things in common with you. Yous tin course your group online on a website like meetup.com, or you lot tin can advertise your group in a public space like the library.

  4. four

    Endeavor volunteering. Volunteering for a cause you lot intendance about is as well a slap-up way to make new friends. Yous will get the opportunity to meet employees and other volunteers at the organization, who most likely share similar passions with you.[9]

    • When looking for volunteer opportunities, focus on ones that will allow you to work as part of a group, rather than individually.
    • Long-term volunteer opportunities are ideal for making friends considering y'all will come across the other volunteers many times and have plenty of opportunities to interact.

  5. 5

    Have someone you know introduce you lot. One of the easiest ways to meet new people is to ask people who y'all already know to introduce you to their friends. Y'all may accept a close friend or relative who tin can really help yous expand your social circle.[ten]

    • Talk to your friend or relative about your condolement level before you plan anything. For example, you may be okay with going out to dejeuner with your sister and her friend, but not going to a house party with them.

  6. six

    Strike upward a conversation with people you see in public. While it may be one of the more intimidating means to meet people, yous may besides have corking success making friends by merely talking to strangers. This may be easier if you lot talk to people you run across regularly but do not know, like people who ride the charabanc with you lot or nourish the same yoga class equally y'all.[11]

    • Remind yourself that information technology'southward okay if not all of these interactions lead to friendships. If nothing else, they volition give you more practice interacting with others.

  7. 7

    Brand plans with people y'all meet. No matter how yous run into people, you will need to take that extra step and brand plans to see them again in gild to become friends. Try to castor bated any fears you have that the other person does non desire to be your friend, and just ask if they would like to go together. [12]

    • Showtime with small plans. For case, you might want to inquire a new acquaintance to meet you for java over the weekend, only not to continue vacation with you.
    • If you meet someone who yous want to become friends with, ever become their contact data before yous leave. If yous don't feel comfortable request for a phone number just withal, ask virtually connecting on social media or get an email address.

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  1. 1

    Go along in touch. Remember that keeping friends tin sometimes be more than piece of work than making them. The most important thing that you lot need to do to keep your friends is to stay in impact with them regularly.[13]

    • If yous haven't spoken to a friend in a while, achieve out by texting or emailing to see what'southward new. Try to brand plans if possible.
    • Some friends talk to each other every day, while others talk to each other once a month. The right frequency will depend on what kind of relationship yous develop with your new friend.

  2. 2

    Commit to plans. People with social anxiety disorder often avoid making plans with others or cancel plans at the final minute, which tin quickly derail a new friendship. Try to avoid doing this at all costs. One time you commit to plans, keep them unless you have a proficient reason for canceling. [14]

    • If your friend wants to do something that makes you broken-hearted, you can always try suggesting a lower key alternative. For example, if your friend wants to become dancing, but you lot're not up to it, you might say, "I'm not feeling up to dancing, only I'd dear to go out for luncheon tomorrow."
    • If you demand to cancel plans, be atoning and endeavour to reschedule right abroad.

  3. 3

    Aid your friends out. Offering to assistance your friends volition show them that you care and strengthen your friendship. It will also make them much more than likely to assistance you out when you demand a hand.[15]

    • Y'all can help with anything at all, large or small. For example, you might offer to help your friend plant her vegetable garden, or you could offer your friend a ride to the movies. Both are very thoughtful gestures.

  4. 4

    Treat your friends as you would desire to be treated. One time y'all've mastered keeping in impact with your friends, the best way to maintain your relationships with them is to care for them correct. Think about how yous would desire them to treat you lot, and always treat them exactly the same manner.[16]

    • If your friend accomplishes something, exist happy for him, just as you would want him to be happy for you.
    • If you have a disagreement with your friend, don't blow it out of proportion or be rude. This is not the style you would want to be treated!
    • If a friend is sad, try to console her.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Is it easier to hang out with a lot of people if y'all have social anxiety?

    Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

    Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Coast Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine Academy in 2009. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.

    Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

    Licensed Psychologist

    Expert Answer

    Information technology depends on the individual, simply generally speaking, it is typically amend to keep your gatherings on the smaller side if you lot accept social anxiety. The more people around, the more overwhelming information technology may be for you.

  • Question

    Do therapists help with social anxiety?

    Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

    Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over x years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Declension Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her practice provides cerebral behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.

    Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

    Licensed Psychologist

    Expert Answer

    Yes! Your therapist can help yous place what'southward causing your social feet. Then, they'll help you develop a treatment program. Working with a therapist tin can be peculiarly helpful if your social anxiety is interfering with your life.

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  • Don't experience like you demand to constantly be socializing in order to exist happy. It's okay to spend some fourth dimension lone, especially if taking small breaks from social interactions helps you lot recharge, as information technology does for most introverts.[17]

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